carsonhalley

I am a big fan of the creative process, I always have been. 

I love gathering with other ‘creatives’ and throwing ideas back and forth, dreaming and scheming to find the best way to tell the story.  Chasing rabbits and finding dragons in clouds is one of my favorite past times. 

In the creative process, it is very easy, especially when surrounded by other creatives, to come up with some really amazing concepts, that if not careful, make no sense.  Don’t get me wrong - they are brilliant ideas…but without proper communication and bridges, something gets lost in translation.

Creatives have to remember that all people often see is the final product, not the process.  So while something might make perfect sense in a brainstorming session, how many ideas from the original did it take to get there?  If it is too many, chances are, the idea won’t translate.  Often, creatives over create.  Church is not an art gallery (although that would be awesome).  It isn’t filled with people wanting to experience something abstract or inspiring, it is filled with people needing to encounter God, and if your creative moment does not have enough bridges, they will not only not understand it, chances are it will not point them to the cross.  The creative process must always keep in mind, how will this translate?

Tricks to making sure it translates…

• share your idea with a complete outsider.  Find the ‘average joe’ who isn’t trendy or creative, and see if they get it.  My dad is often this person for me - he is not in my generation, doesn’t have a clue about pop culture, and wears white reeboks.  Remember, they are your audience.
• sleep on it.  I never decide something while in a creative meeting, that isn’t what they are designed for.  I take a day or two, and look back at ideas and concepts after I have exited the glorious environment of the dreaming stage.
• choose your lingo wisely.  Diction is HUGE!  Sometimes, all it takes is some wise wording to bridge the gap between broken creativity and brilliant creativity. 

Unfortunately, as most things in life, I’ve learned this the hard way.  But it is a great, and necessary, lesson to learn.  Creativity means nothing if no one understands it. 

If I hear one more person say “I am not creative!” I may just slap them. I think it is absolutely absurd to say that you are not creative – you may just not know how to unleash it. Here’s my thought – everyone is creative! You are made in God’s image, and He’s the ultimate Creator, so some of that must have rubbed off on you (I’m not sure how theologically sound that is, but it makes sense in my head).

You are creative, you just don’t know it yet. Think about children. You can put a kid alone in a room with a box and they can have more fun than a “Tickle Me Elmo” (seriously, those things are fun!)! It’s because the mind is creative. What happened is that one day some stuffy adult told you to stop playing with your food or to color between the lines. So slowly, your creative mind was repressed, and you learned what was proper. To be creative, you have to be willing to stop caring about what others think, and just do! Creativity comes from not accepting the first thing that comes to mind, not just accepting what something was designed to be and allow it to become something else. Thinking creatively is a lot like a late night conversation with great friends. You know that amazingly blissful moment when you are surrounded by people you can be completely be yourself around, and say or do anything, and laugh at everything? Creative thinking is similar. You need to get in a mindset that no matter what comes out of your mouth, it’s ok. Even if it is a horrible idea, it can lead to a great one! So pick something up and use it for something other than it’s original design. Rethink the process in a way that has never been done before. Ignore the person telling you to color between the lines!

For a long time there was a tension in my home.  I felt called to ministry, and my dad didn’t want me to be in ministry.  At first, this made me angry.  Who was he to tell me what to do with my life?  How dare he say that because I was a girl I couldn’t do it!  Why did he hate me so much?!  Granted, I was a teenager who disagreed with everything my dad said, and felt like he was constantly against me. Now, after hearing his heart, I understand his reasoning.  Like most parents, my dad thought I was a one-in-a-million, a female genius/creative/effective/diligent/talented/etc. person who could make a butt-load of cash doing anything I wanted.  He thought that in ministry I would never

As someone who has recently taken on a huge responsibility in ministry, I am constantly fighting fears and insecurities.  I’m pretty sure that this garbage is coming from the devil, because, well…he’s a jerk.  A lot of them come back to me being a girl, and this is pretty unusual for me.  Girls are known as being emotional, relational, and complex multi-tasking creatures.  This exact thing is what you would think would be great for ministry, right?  It turns out that sometimes the thing that makes me great at my job also hurts me.  In a field that has been painted like a ‘he-man woman haters club’ in my mind, I am quick to fall for the lie.  I am a part of one of the most modern churches around, one with little (or no) politics, and an environment that I have been welcomed and embraced as an equal among my peers, the devil has flooded my thoughts with lies…”it’s ‘cause you’re a girl.”  While yes, I am a girl, there has yet to be a time where I was excluded or missed out on things because I am a girl.  And even if there were, who cares?!  I am called to do middle school ministry.  It is my job to do middle school ministry.  Anything outside of that is all fluff.  So while I may get emotional when I hear the lie or feel left out or misinterpret situations and read too much into them (another “wonderful” female trait), I have learned that my emotional distress is the cause of a liar and a thief.  I have also realized that if I don’t check these feelings and emotions at the door, it hinders my ability to do ministry on a team of people who I have imagined to be the enemy.  I cannot let the very thing that makes me good at ministry be the thing that holds me back.

Maybe my dad was right, but that doesn’t change my calling.  That doesn’t change the fact that God has placed me where He wants me, and it is my job to be a good diligent steward of it.  As long as I do that, my God will provide all the support and security I could need.

p.s.  My dad is fully supportive of me and my ministry.  He is awesome!

So I am currently sitting in what I suppose is called the atrium of a hotel, in the middle of Coral Springs exhausted, but unwilling to move.  It is day 1 of a student ministry camp that I am running, and while I am running on fumes, I cannot help but sit and take it all in.  This hotel has lots of fountains in it, which is freakishly soothing, and has mesmerized me in this moment.  After a day that began at 6 am (after 3.5 hours of sleep), I find myself sitting for the first time, and able to complete a thought all at once.  I suppose I am just in awe that the chaos is complete.  Day one of camp is always the worst.  Too many things go awry, too many things fall through the cracks, and too many kids get hurt (maybe ;)).  But it is done.  Everyone is alive.  Rec was a hit!  Our speaker killed it…and God is up to something big.  I’m excited for what this week holds.  I’m anxious about the unknown.  But most of all, I’m insecure about why God would use me.  I’m a nobody.  Not in an annoying Eeyore-woe-is-me kind of way, but in a “I’m a sinner saved by grace wanting to serve in any capacity but still just a punk kid” kind of way.  I always worry that I am going to mess something up.  I suppose the reality is that this is already way out of my hands, and God has already taken control (cue “Jesus take the Wheel”).  I’m ready to see where this week leads, because I’ve already given it up to the ultimate camp director, the big man upstairs, the ceo, the great carpenter (any other bumper stickers I’m missing?).  So pray for our camp, pray for our students, its only just begun.

A couple of days ago, I had an amazing and humbling experience to be on the opposite end of an intern Q&A.  Our church has 5 amazing interns from Liberty Univ. this summer, and they are all anxious to learn.  Every week, they have an opportunity to interview a pastor.  I am not a pastor….but my boss/Student Pastor was the man of the hour, and decided to pull my co-worker and I into the mix.  I’ve never really been a part of something like that.  Yes, I’ve had many conversations where people asked questions or advice of me, but never an outright Q&A panel.  These interns asked some amazing questions: what’s the toughest part of ministry? Who inspires you? How has your background effected your ministry?  My favorite question, by far was simple: what advice do you have for a newbie in ministry?  I love this question because it is so honest and simple.  They are basically saying, “I know nothing, I want to know tons, how do I start? What mistakes can I avoid?” 

In my time in ministry, I’ve been surrounded by amazing mentors; people who care about me and see potential in me.  I was lucky enough to learn from so many brilliant men and women, and be warned of so many newbie mistakes that it was nice in the moment to pay it forward.  There is so much you can say to answer this question, but I broke it down to three simple things:

Protect your relationship with Christ.  I know that is a little weird/obvious/dumb.  But to be honest, working at a church is one of the worst things that have ever happened to my relationship with Christ.  It is so easy to get caught up in serving, praying, and reading because it is your job.  But in the meantime, when you only do those things because it is to get the job done, you are not building a relationship, you are building a resume.  As ministry leaders, we need to be teaching out of the overflow of what God is teaching us.  Your relationship with Christ is more important than your calling, so protect it!

Remember you are just a servant.  I have never met someone starting out in ministry who lacked a servant’s heart.  Unfortunately, I have met ministry leaders who have been in the game that have seemingly lost their heart to serve.  We are all just servants, following the example of our King.  As a leader in ministry, you should never loose touch of your servant’s heart, it is honest and pure and honors God.  No one, not a pastor or deacon or director, is ever too good to stack chairs or clean poop off the floor or take out garbage.  We are all servants, blessed with the opportunity to share the love and truth of Christ.  Title does not dictate the things we cannot do, it displays the things we get to do.

Make yourself irreplaceable.  One of the biggest lessons interns need to learn is to take initiative.  This does not mean going above the head of your leader, but it does mean taking a project and owning it.  When I first became an intern, my mentor told me to make myself irreplaceable.  I haven’t forgotten that advice.  As someone starting out in ministry, if you are not needed, you are not doing your job.  So choose to take initiative, find something that needs improvement and own it.  Find an area that has no leadership, and lead it.  Find a project that has been neglected and give it value.  This is not about job security, this is about improving your ministry to the best of your ability.  The important thing to remember, however, is that you are always replaceable.  It is important to build up your ministry, make it amazing, make yourself irreplaceable, and then replace yourself.  That is a true leader.

None of these are things that I have mastered the art of.  Instead, they are constant reminders to me as a young leader.  They are things that I have excelled at, struggled with, and fought through multiple times.  Just my thoughts, my experiences, and my lessons learned (often the hard way).

Have you ever wondered if you were going to have an ugly baby?!  I know that is a strange question, but I’ve wondered that many times.  I know 2 things; all newborns are ugly, and all babies are beautiful in their parents’ eyes.  But seriously, what if you had a kid that was legit busted?!  If your kid had a unibrow, how soon is too soon to wax it?!  If you know me well, you know that kids aren’t my thing, and I have no fear calling kids ugly (sorry), but I have often times wondered, if your kid is ugly, will anyone tell you?  There are certain things in life that no one tells you about.  Maybe it’s that your kid is ugly, or that, despite your opinion, you’re a horrible singer (please don’t tell me if this is true about me), or that the dream that you want has it’s downfalls.  Certain things people shouldn’t tell you.  You may not believe them, or they may sway you from pursuing your dreams. 

My dream, and calling, is to do Student Ministry full time.  By the grace of God, I’ve been given the opportunity to do just that, and I love every second of it.  There are a couple of truths about ministry that I was warned of.  It’s tiresome.  It won’t make you rich.  It is not for the faint of heart.  Kids will break your heart.  You will get pranked.  Parents will drive you nuts (not all of them, but there is that one…).  And so on and so on.  All of these things, I knew, understood, and was prepared for.  There is one truth that no one ever told me, and even if they did, I don’t think I would get it.  And no one ever talks about it, so I thought it was just me.  After speaking to some friends in ministry, I realized I was not alone in thinking that ministry can be lonely.  Don’t get me wrong, ministry is a blast and I would not trade it for the world, but there is a reality that it can be lonely.  My line of work is so relational, that by the time it comes to my personal relationships, I don’t have a ton of energy to put into them.  Between the wacky hours, unconventional motivation, and sheer exhaustion (emotional and physical), it is very easy to feel alone in the world.  Unless you are in the trenches, you don’t know what ministry is like, so your friends often don’t understand you.  They don’t understand why your time is so limited or why, after a week at camp, you are so tired….I mean, it’s camp, it’s like a vacation, right?!  I think Jesus had to be really lonely.  The perfect man was surrounded by darkness and sin His whole life, and no one could ever figure anything out just right.  In Luke, it even talks about how He would retreat to lonely places and pray.  No one understood Him.  Now, in no way am I comparing myself to Jesus, but I do find comfort in knowing He went through the same thing.

When it comes to being lonely in ministry, I’ve found a couple things to help navigate it all.

• Know you aren’t alone in your loneliness.  This may sound weird, but know that as someone in ministry, it is normal for you to have those moments of feeling completely misunderstood.  It’s ok. 
• Find comfort in God.  Now that the cliche Christian answer quota has been met, let’s talk about it.  In all reality, sometimes the only thing we can do is cry out to God.  In ministry, sometimes your frustrations or discouragements can’t be shared with anyone, for the sake of someone’s confidentiality or the sake of not skewing someone’s opinion of God or the church.  God sometimes is the only one you can talk to.  And in reality, God is the only thing that can bring you true comfort to begin with.  So go to the beach, get some conch fritters at the beach-side grill, take a seat on the sand, and get alone with God.  It has been my best fix to loneliness.
• Cherish the few good friends you do have.  I have lost a lot of friends over the years.  I didn’t spend enough time with them, I wasn’t always there for them, I didn’t meet their standards for friendship.  It sounds so high school (and it is), but those draining friends who you can never make happy enough will always be that way.  But that close crew, those who whether you see them once a day, once a week, or once every three months, it doesn’t matter, those are the good ones.  I find refuge and acceptance in that crew who, with them, nothing will ever change.  They know I’m busy, and that’s ok.  They know I don’t always want to have deep intellectual conversations, and that’s ok too.  God takes care of His people, and I have been taken care of.  God has provided me with a small handful of great friends who will love me no matter what, and that is wonderful.  I don’t need a million friends, I don’t have time for a million friends, so I love the ones I have.

At the end of the day, I have the ear of the Creator of everything, and the presence of His Spirit.  I also have the greatest job in the world, with the greatest team that I have the pleasure of doing ministry with.  There are times that it feels overwhelmingly lonely.  There are also days that the friends, family, and fiance that I have been blessed with is more than enough.

Have you ever had one of those moments where you hear yourself say something, and you are just like….”Why am I saying this?  Stop….No, seriously, stop talking….what are you doing?!”  Yes, people do say some dumb things, but sometimes, I’m people.  Pardon the grammar, but the point is, I am just as much of an idiot sometimes as everyone else that I sarcastically joke about behind closed doors.  (see, that’s one of those things I shouldn’t have said, it’s just mean, but its honest, so I’ll let it slide.)

I have hit a point in my life that I never thought would happen, its a time where I don’t have all (or any) of the answers.  Don’t get me wrong, I don’t always think I have all the answers to life, but for the most part, I have learned enough from the brilliant people around me that I know how to handle most situations.  And if I don’t, I tend to have enough common sense to figure it out.  All of a sudden, however, I find myself in this place where I am clueless.  And I’m kind of scared to ask for the right answers.  I don’t know who to ask.  I turn to God, I’ve been turning to God a lot lately, which maybe not turning to Him enough in the first place was my problem.  But we all know how God operates, sometimes the answers don’t come right away.  I am a big believer that He speaks through people, I have just found myself in a place where I don’t know who the right person is to listen to, almost to a point where I don’t know who to even talk to.  So this puts me in my predicament, a moment where something comes up, and my reaction is one that leaves me screaming at myself “What are you saying?!”  This feeling is weird, and I don’t like it.  It leaves me knowing one thing though, God is stretching me.  I do believe that with all of my heart.  A lot of big things are happening in my world, so these new situations that leave me mumbling through ignorance is due to the fact that I have brand new experiences with brand new responsibilities and brand new priorities, and have no knowledge to fall back on.  I can feel the stretch now.  It’s kind of like when you don’t stretch for a really long time and then you get back into it and it feels like a body builder has taken your muscle, chewed on it, and then set it on fire (graphic enough for ya?!).  When God chooses to stretch you, you should know two things: it’s going to hurt, and it’s for a reason.  When I am left feeling like a fourth grader because the things that I am saying are so clearly not thought out, it is not because I am dumb, it is because I am experiencing something new and just don’t know any better. 

I say dumb things, I am taking this as a sign that I am being put through the ringer, only to come out praising God for where He has brought me.  I believe God has some major things in store for me and my future, I just hope I bite my tongue long enough to not ruin it all.

You would think that being comfortable is a good thing, right?  Who doesn’t like a warm blanket on a giant sofa with re-runs of VH1’s latest reality show entertaining you?  Or a nice chai latte with Ray LaMontagne playing through the speakers as you sit in the last big chair at starbucks?  Or even those Saturday mornings that you have nothing to do and no one to see, so you put on your old torn up jeans, a hoody, and get a mani/pedi?!  People love comfort!  And who can blame them, it is awesome!  But there are some issues with comfort.

When you are comfortable, you are so laid back that you aren’t able to be on your toes. 

Working in ministry, I want to be comfortable in my position.  I want to know that I am needed and valued enough that I don’t have to worry about making the wrong move, or saying the wrong thing.  Comfort in the workplace is reassuring, and almost necessary for peace of mind.  The issue occurs, however, when one gets so comfortable they stop trying.  People can stop caring if something is right, because they are just doing things the way they are done.  Striving to be creative looses value when comfortable, because you are already considered creative.  Double checking, re-thinking, or pushing that much further for better doesn’t happen, because when you are comfortable, you don’t need to.  Excellence is lost, and you begin to ride on your laurels as opposed to continuing to strive and push for greatness.  When your comfortable, you don’t need God’s guidance.  This is when mistakes happen, the wrong thing is said, and things fall through the cracks.  And you are so sunk into your recliner that you can’t get up quick enough to catch them.  

Being comfortable has damaged me in the past, sometimes with minimal consequences, sometimes with life changing consequences.  Either way, I decided to rest on what I was capable of, not what God was.  I wasn’t on my toes waiting for God to use me.  I wasn’t keeping in mind the amount of influence, embarrassing myself and hurting others.  There is a time and place to be comfortable, ministry isn’t one of them.  Save it for the couch, for there are far too many people with far too high a stake to get comfortable.

Today I got home from a much needed vacation.  After being ‘on staff’ at my church (volunteer and paid) for two years now, I took my first vacation that was more than a long weekend.  So needless to say, I was very happy to get away and enjoy some time with friends, enjoying life and thinking about nothing. 

After a week in Orlando, while I wasn’t ready to come home, I had to, so Danny (my man) and I made our way back to South Florida.  For some reason, as I approached West Palm, an hour away from home, I became overwhelmed.  I was nervous….really nervous.  This is a feeling I could not recognize right away, because it didn’t seem to have any roots.  Beginning to analyze my nervousness, figure out it’s purpose, I realized I was nervous to go back to work.  Being gone a week, I was convinced that the team that I work with had figured out exactly how to manage all that I do, do it better, and therefore have no need for me.  Before I continue, I should state that my boss has done nothing but encourage me and confirm me in my role within the ministry.  And before this moment, I have been pretty confident in my place.  So all these feelings (which I don’t cope well with to begin with) were all very strange to me.  Then I started to think harder, to try and figure out why I was so insecure.  Then it hit me.

Two years ago, I was fired from ‘my dream job.’  There is no need to go into the details, because it really was a great turning point in my life, and I know God has me exactly where He wants me.  Yet, I bring it up because the last time I went on a week long vacation, I came back to my great job and got fired. 

This brings me back to my drive home.  My mind was racing, heart was heavy, and eyes welled up with tears.  Not because I had any reason to be nervous, but because the Enemy knows my fears and insecurities, and knows exactly how to play his cards.  After all this time, I have forgiven, healed, and moved on.  This one situation, however, brought me right back to that time, those thoughts, and the reality that I am not invincible.  I honestly thought I would walk into the office tomorrow and get fired.  Which made me want to stop.  I don’t think I can handle the same situation all over again.  I don’t think my calling alone would be able to get me through the fear and heartache that would be associated with starting all over again, again.  All I wanted to do was crawl into a ball, and do nothing.  Not work, not go back, not deal with it, the rejection.  Meanwhile, all of this has no grounds for reason. 

I’m a pretty logical person, so my logic told me that these feelings were not happening because I am insecure, but because Satan is.  He’s insecure that He will loose the fight, he will loose the souls of those teens who finally proclaim Christ.  So, he wants to hold me back.  He wants to strike fear so hard in my chest that I freeze.  In a time that my heart is so burdened for students that I am willing to give it my all, the Enemy sees it and gets scared.  I am learning that when my fears begin to hold me back, it is less of a negative reflection of who I am, and more of a positive reflection of who I am, that is simply putting Lucifer himself on the offense.  He wants me to stop, he wants me to hold back, he wants me to live in fear.  The problem with that is, I won’t.  If my God is for me, who could be against me?

So the emotional drive home was weird, both for me and Danny.  But it was also a bit of a motivator.  I will not slow down, for there are way too many students who don’t know my God yet, and I don’t like that one bit. 

There is a note above my desk, a simple reminder that I need to delegate.  Here’s my problem, I don’t want to!  My whole ministry career I have been told that my biggest struggle and the thing that holds me back the most is my lack of desire to delegate.  Notice I didn’t say lack of ability.  I know how to delegate, I just don’t like it.

“If you want it done right, do it yourself.”

“It will take longer to teach someone how to do something than to just do it yourself.”

“Working yourself out of a job will leave you without a job.”

These are all lies I’ve convinced myself of over the years, all whispered into my ear by the devil.  Some may say I’m a perfectionist, I say I value excellence.  Some say I’m a control freak, I say I just like things done correctly.  Some say I am a workaholic, I say I give my all in the way I serve.  It is very easy for me to explain why and justify not delegating, the problem is, I am called to delegate.   All of the little lies that I have heard are true on a surface level, the problem is, they are still lies.

Lie #1…”If you want it done right, do it yourself.”

This is a total lie.  While I might be able to do most things well, there is no way I am able to everything with excellence.  It would take a very prideful person to say in all honesty that they are the only people who can do something correctly.  I am fully aware that I cannot do everything amazingly well, I am also aware that there are many people who’s talents are different than mine.  Putting those two thoughts together would leave someone to believe that since I cannot do it all well, and there are those who can do well what I do not, they could be utilized.  I went to a Student Ministry conference a couple years ago, and the only thing I remember well enough to quote is the simple thought of “You don’t have to be the best at everything, you just have to surround yourself with the people who are.”  This really stuck out to me, because it is so true.  I want everything to be above and beyond excellent, and knowing I can’t do it all is a relief, and trusting that someone else can do it better just makes me a better leader.

Lie #2…”It will take longer to teach someone how to do something than to just do it yourself.”

Looking over this sentence just makes me laugh.  First off, it is a ridiculous thought.  Secondly, I’ve thought it many times.  This statement is true for the very first instance (maybe), but after that, it looses all validity.  It is like the old phrase, ‘give a man a fish he will eat for a day, day him to fish he will eat for a lifetime.’  I have wasted so much time thinking that it is quicker to do it myself than teach someone else, because often times, it does not take that long to teach, and most of the tasks that I do are repetitive.  If I take the time to teach someone something, it does a couple of things:  teaches them how to do it the next time (giving me time), allow someone else the opportunity to serve, free up my time to focus on what I’m good at, and teach someone something that they will not only use to better the ministry I am a part of but their whole future career in ministry.  It is silly to think that I am wasting time when I am teaching something, it is never a waste of time if someone is learning!

Lie #3…”Working yourself out of a job will leave you without a job.”

I have had the honor to work at two amazing churches in the arena of Student Ministry.  Both of these opportunities have come my way without my asking or pursuing.  God has gotten me this far, if He wants to move me, He will!  This lie of being left without a job is basically saying that you don’t trust that God will take care of you.  Beyond that, it is saying that if you do your job well and lead like you are asked, you will be rewarded with a swift kick in the butt.  Completely illogical!  In all of my years of growing up in churches, I have never once seen people fired for developing a strong team, on the other hand, I have seen people highly rewarded for developing a strong team.  My calling is to be an effective leader in a student ministry that is doing anything short of sin to see students come to Christ.  What that means is that I must build up a team of people strong enough to carry out that vision, and if that means letting the best outshine me, that is what needs to happen.  And in the long run, it only makes me a better leader.  God has gotten me thus far, my insecurities will be the only thing that holds me back, and what a waste that would be.

Delegation.  My nemesis.  But it is a necessary defeat to be an effective leader of leaders of students. 

I recently just experienced a first: firing a volunteer.  This is something that I have heard about, read about, and even spoken about many times in ministry.  It was just something that I had never had to deal with first hand.  And let me tell you, it was quite the experience.

I used to think that you can’t fire a volunteer…they are volunteering!  If someone has the heart for ministry and is willing to do so, why would you stop them?  Well, my mindset has obviously changed, so I have written couple of thoughts as to why I would stop someone from volunteering in student ministry:

They lack loyalty.  There is nothing quicker to cause drama than loyalty issues.  Loyalty is something my pastor and church values in a huge way, and I understand why.  When it comes to a ministry, you need people backing you up, supporting you, and having your back, no matter what.  The second someone stops supporting you and your decisions, they are no longer loyal, and will only fuel the fires the Devil throws your way.  It is very easy for the wrong person to walk up to the disloyal volunteer with an issue and walk away feeling worse because the person who is supposed to be fighting your battles with you just handed someone an arsenal to attack you with.

They aren’t committed.  Inconsistency is the last thing students need.  In a world of broken homes, an unstable economy, teachers who could care less, and the constant drama of teenage relationships, the last thing a student needs is another person who will let them down.  Ministry is a commitment, and there are expectations.  We aren’t just feeding kids pizza and playing dodge-ball with them until their parents pick them up, we are pouring into them, hopefully forming their faith, and helping them develop their character as a Christ follower.  And students are messy.  In order to deal with the messiness and gain the opportunity to invest in them, you must be present.  I don’t trust a doctor who shows up occasionally, I don’t trust a boyfriend who calls when he feels like it, and I don’t trust a car that stops working every three weeks.  Why would a student trust a leader who is inconsistent? 

They don’t get the vision.  I love vision, it is so critical in ministry, it is what keeps the wheels turning.  With vision, you can ask a leader to do the wackiest thing, and if they get the vision, they will do it with a smile on their face.  Unfortunately, there are people who don’t always get the vision.  This is where problems occur.  For one, they will never understand why you do something, so on the off chance they actually do something you ask, they won’t do it well or with a good attitude.  Also, if they don’t get vision, they don’t get you, they won’t follow you, and they will cause drama.  If they don’t get the vision, they won’t reach the bar of excellence that has been set, so your job then becomes that much harder, as you strive to pick up their slack.  At the end of the day, the vision is something that (hopefully) comes from God, and if you are following your calling and chasing after that vision, you need to do all that you can to do that, even if that means leaving others behind.

I do not like confrontation.  I do not like telling someone they cannot do something ministry related.  On the other hand, I do not like seeing a ministry suffer because someone doesn’t fulfill the expectation.  God has given me a heart and vision that is way too big to accomplish on my own, I need a team to get there.  It is also too big to let anything, or anyone get in the way.  It isn’t about someones feelings getting hurt, it is about accomplishing all that God has set before us.  It is hard.  It does suck.  It is necessary. 

Sometimes we don’t always have a choice in what we get to do.  Especially in ministry.  While I am called to student ministry, and am paid to do student ministry, I sometimes find myself doing non-student ministry things.  Even within student ministry, I have specific duties that I am expected to fulfill, and do with excellence, and then there are the things that don’t fall under the category of things I am supposed to do, yet at the end of the day, they are piled on my desk.   Nobody wants to do certain things.  That is completely human.  The problem with that is, while we don’t want to, we often have to do certain things.  Maybe it’s a specific task to keep leaders informed, or something to help retain first timers, or maybe you don’t even know the purpose, but your pastor asked you to do it.  Either way, if it has ended up on your desk, your name is now tied to it, and it is yours to accomplish.

Often times, I find that in these tasks that I have no desire to accomplish, I also loose my desire to accomplish them well.  This becomes an issue, because it is just plain unbiblical.  While we may not see the point, the task we are assigned has one, and probably a good one, and while I may not want to do it, that does not give me an excuse to give it my second best, for a couple of reasons…

…I’m called to do all things for the glory of God. (1 Cor. 10:31)
Ok, so I know I’m totally pulling the ‘Christian-card’ on this one, but seriously.  In life, ministry, and work, we really are called to give everything our best because it is supposed to glorify our King.  This does not mean give our best to the things we like, or the things we are called to, or the things we think God wants us to do, it is ALL things. 

…my pastor said so.
I do not believe in blindly following the lead of your pastor, putting him on a pedestal, and listening to every word He says.  I do believe in praying about joining a church, believing that God called that pastor to that church, and trusting that said pastor is following God in all of his decisions.  Because of this, I trust that when I am asked to do something, whether I see the purpose or not, I need to follow the lead of my pastor and do what He asks.  If I don’t understand the purpose, it is ok to ask the why, but not until I have begun to obey.

…it has a purpose, so it will be used.
Depending on what the task is, chances are, it will effect someone else.  While I don’t get excited or passionate about it, there is still a purpose, and it is still a reflection of my church.  Everything should be done with excellence, no excuses.  If I am making a pamphlet that will be passed out to people within the church, it needs to be good enough to carry the name of the church on it.  The bar has been set a long time ago, I need to maintain, if not raise the bar in everything I do, as a member of the team, I must be a team-player.

…my name is on it.
This has nothing to do with pride, this has everything to do with opportunities.  If I do something and it is not my best, and someone asks who did it, they immediately think that is a reflection of my work.  At the end of the day, I want everything that has my name, or my ministry attached to it, to resemble excellence, so that more opportunities/respect/open doors can come the way of me or the ministry that I am a part of.

At the end of the day, I love my job, and would do anything asked of me.  I need to accept the challenge to do it all with excellence, no matter the task.  I am called to excellence, I am called to this church, and I am called to serve.  It’s time to do work!

My dad has been a fisherman my whole life.  I remember the days where it seemed like every Saturday morning I was being woken at the butt-crack of dawn, place in a vehicle, and eventually sat on a live-well turned bench on my dads fishing boat.  I was the bait girl, mainly because I got too bored just fishing.  I didn’t see the fun in it, nor did I see the skill attached.  But I went, and looking back, I really value those times.  My dad was a trolling fisherman, using live bait, and casting his reel when he thought the time was right.  He had a strategy to fishing, and was usually successful.  I remember always wanting to use the net, it just seemed more efficient.  Seriously, lets throw a giant hole-filled blanket out there and gather all the fish at once!  I mean, Jesus did it!  Every time I made this suggestion, my dad said no, it didn’t catch the fish he wanted.

In leadership in ministry, the term ‘casting vision’ is used constantly.  It is integral to a successful ministry.  Without a doubt, ministry is one of the hardest jobs out there, and a lot of that comes from the fact that in leadership, you are not managing employees, you are leading volunteers.  In this case, people don’t show up because they get paid or because they have to; they show up because they want to.  The only leverage we have is our vision.  Every time the phrase ‘casting vision’ was used, I imagined the need to throw this huge blanket of goals, purpose, desires, and need out there, hoping that the right volunteers would hop on board, and jump into my net.   It turns out, that isn’t exactly the way it is.  I found that when I chose to just throw these blanket statements out, I did not see the results I desired.  I realized that my dad had this strategy when it came to fishing.  He knew what he wanted, and used the right bait to get what he wanted.  Casting vision is the same way; if I want to have leaders who love student ministry, understand the value of building relationships, and are relevant, I need to cast vision that applies to those people.  And this is easier said than done.  I find that often, I can talk about what I am passionate all day long, but until I realize what my leaders need to hear to get their attention, grab hold of their hearts, stir passion, and get them to get exactly what the vision is and run with it. 

Who would have thought, all those years of fishing has taught me a thing or two.  Thanks dad!

At some point in every person’s ministry, they have to come to a very difficult decision.  Well, there are probably many difficult decisions they have to make, but there is one that seems to have been a topic of conversation for me lately.  This is the decision to be a leader of leaders, not a leader of students.  I know, this seems a little contradictory, why would someone called to student ministry decide that they don’t want to lead students?!  But let me ask you this, what would happen if Howard Schultz, the founder of Starbucks, decided that he wanted to have the personal touch and have him serve all of the coffee to his customers?  Starbucks would not be what it is today, and my life would be filled with a void of epic proportions (and my wallet would be filled to epic proportions).  But Howard, while valuing the personal touch, saw that he wanted to share that with more than the 50 customers who he could know on a first name basis.  Instead, Howard decided to create and organization, with a foundation in the heart of Howard Schultz, and lived out by many people, in order to get his product out to as many people as possible.  Ministry is based on the personal touch, but when a ministry is successful in living out the Great Commission and is growing with students, there is no way the student staff can keep a personal relationship with every student. 

This is where a student worker has to decide, decide to lead leaders, not students.  This does not mean that you cut off all communication to students and stop pouring into them, this does mean that you begin to change your emphasis.  My ministry will always (as long as God deems it so) be towards students, but the people I have to spend more time investing in will be leaders.  The thought is the same as any leader of an organization, I have a vision and passion for something, I can no longer execute that to the fullest due to growth, so I must share and spread that vision and passion with others so they can spread it.  Instead of being able to keep in contact with and disciple 25 students effectively, I must choose to invest in 25 leaders, who will then disciple 25 students each, having exponential rewards.  This is a hard choice, and something I have struggled with for some time now, but really is not an option if your true desire is to see a healthy growth in your ministry.

The student ministry I am a part of recently went to summer camp.  I use the term loosely, because we didn’t actually “go” anywhere, we ran our own camp in our backyard.  This allowed for camp cost to go down, camp attendance to double, and 250 people got to experience it all.  I had the pleasure of being Camp Director.  This entailed a lot of work, mostly grabbing Starbucks, so I won’t go into details.  But this camp is where this thought of “leading leaders” reigned heavy.  While having a group of girls in my room, I had to take away time with them to make sure camp happened to its fullest.  Had I focused on them, the 245 other attendees would not have had the same ‘rock your face off’ experience, and the sacrifice of the five was worth it to me (don’t worry, they had an amazing small group and team leader to take care of them). 

At the end of the day, everyone has to make a decision.  For my role in leadership, I have decided that God has called me to lead in a ministry that is blessed with growth, which means my role changes, I am now a leader of leaders.

There are a lot of myths I’ve heard over the years.  Some I know for a fact are false and don’t even give the time of day, others I like to imagine are true and turn a blind eye to thinking of how unrealistic they are, and some may possibly be true, but the thought of looking into finding out the facts kind of freaks me out. 

In student ministry the same occurs.  You hear myths all the time: myths of student ministries being sued for a kid’s salvation, myths of thousands of students in small groups, and then there are the statistical myths.  These are my favorites!  Seeing as every time I’ve heard a statistic the number has been different, and 67% of statistics are made up on the spot, you have to take them with a grain of salt.  The most infamous statistic is the one the shocks/angers/impassions/confuses all youth workers when they hear it.  The myth that upon graduation, 95% (80-99% depending on who’s talking) of all teens from your youth ministry will step away from the church!  What?!  How can this be?!?!?!  Not from my ministry!!!  This always makes me laugh.  I must admit, when I first heard it, I went through a slew of reactions: anger, denial, confusion, excitement…and then I started thinking.  I looked back at the students that I graduated with, and the classes that followed me and realized that my church must be the one exception, because that wasn’t the case in my experience.  Then I got off of my high horse and realized that it wasn’t that my church was the exception, and that the statistic was probably skewed.  My pastor/friend/boss had the same thought, and pursued it a little further, learning that the statistic was very skewed, basically loosing all validity and shock value at student ministry conferences.  But for a while, it did its job.  I don’t think that statistic is shared to scare youth workers, but to cast vision, encourage, and charge them with exactly what their job entails, leading students to Christ.  The problem is, I think that there is some truth to be gained from this skewed thought. 

When I heard this, my reaction was to step up my game.  I wanted to make my ministry the most fun, loud, exciting, talked about, infamous student ministry there was!  I wanted it to attract thousands of students, being the ‘cool place’ around town.  I began to work overtime to make my ministry the best.  In my mind, if we made it fun and interesting students would want to stick around and fall madly in love with Christ.  Through highly developed programming, a line up that kept them on their toes, and a weekly “wow-moment,” I thought we were bound to make a joke out of that statistic.  I think that a lot of student ministries strive for this: the hyper-creative, over the top, best on the block student ministry.  The problem is, that isn’t what the church is about.  Looking back, my heart was in the right place, but my head wasn’t.  My competition went from the Enemy to the church down the street.  Comparing my ministry to others, ours was on top, and that’s the way I liked it.  My fear is that I am not the only person who has had/has this mentality.  I worry about those hyper-creative ministries, that they are too busy focusing on the creative, and not on the Creator. 

Now don’t get me wrong, I thrive in the creative.  I love expressing whom Jesus is in a new way, I strive to find every way that will point people to the cross.  I am a part of an amazing creative church; I value that very much.  But more than the creative, I value the true purpose of the church.  My issue is that, while this statistic may not be true, are we setting our students up to fail?  When we define church as this pre-programmed show with moments of awe and interest, and not as a body of believers coming together to learn, grow, encourage, support and build up each other and the community, our students leave with a false-expectation.  When we don’t take the time or value the need to balance the creative with the discipleship, students leave our churches and walk into a Bible-believing church that has their thumb on exactly what the church is supposed to be, but because they don’t have intelligent lighting, our students walk away.  And when we compete with other churches, our students walk away looking for a church just like ours, but when we have intentionally eliminated that option, our students are left out to dry.  I fear that too often we forget to mention who Jesus is and His purpose for the church, and our students couldn’t know what a good church is if it bit them on the butt.  This is not a knock at the creative church, I LOVE the creative church, and I think Jesus does too…as long as it is a church.  As a woman called to student ministry, I have a charge on my life to do all that I can to tell the students of the world who Jesus is.  So does every other person who claims the title “Youth Ministry Leader/Worker/Pastor/Volunteer!”  It is our job to make the message clear, that Jesus Christ is the only truth, and His church is our rock.  However we choose to express this is an individual choice of each ministry.  Choose to be straightforward, choose to leverage the creative; whichever you think is best for your ministry.  As long as the heart and mind is right, and the Word is being shared, go for it.  But remember this, Jesus is the only truth, and your only competition is the fallen angel.

I have a confession:  I don’t like Christian music! 

I have another confession:  I secretly mock the person who says that they do. 

I know, it is horrible.  There is so much value in the world of Christian music, but for some reason it is such a joke to me.  Part of me doesn’t even feel bad about it.  I think that every person who has grown up in a student ministry has had that moment where they threw away or burned all their CD’s and bought every Christian CD they could get their hands on.  My moment was in 9th grade.  It was really a turning point in my life where I decided to chase after the things of God, and my music really was a bad influence on me.  It turns out that falling asleep to Korn every night isn’t great for the soul.  So after a winter retreat, I ditched all my music and bought every Christian CD that had a cool looking cover.  My collection of the O.C. Supertones, By the Tree, Relient K, Sanctus Real, and Five Iron Frenzy seemed to get me through my freshman year of high school.  I bought in and saw the value.  Then, I got over it.  I realized my heart was right, my priorities were right, and my spiritual disciplines were in check, and the music I listened to didn’t make me any more or less holy, it just made me feel like “Super-Christian!”  I don’t know when or how I made the transition, but I slowly found my way back to world of secular music, and I have to say, I haven’t turned back.  I like my Weezer and Jack Johnson!

I clearly don’t have a problem with non-Christian music.  For some reason, I do have a problem with Christian music, and I don’t know why.  There is a lot of really good stuff out there that doesn’t have that cheesy Christian radio vibe to it, yet the second someone mentions a “Christian band” I mark them off as poppycock.  Because of this, I have failed to introduce the thought of uplifting, clean, and spiritually strong music to the generation of students God has sent my way.  I have written it off so much that I don’t even let anyone else make their own decision about Christian music; it is simply not an option in my world.  And as much as it may suck, I am ripping off students from the opportunity to really experience the same culture cleansing I went through my freshman year.

I am quick to mock or turn my back to the thought of Christian music because I really don’t think secular music is doing me any harm.  But what if I’m wrong?  What if it really is warping my mind like my middle school small group leader taught me?  What if I really would be better off with a positive influence?  What if the music I am listening too really isn’t glorifying God in any way, and I am just shrugging it off?  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not listening to music that is teaching me to worship Satan or drink myself into an oblivion, and I really don’t think I am doing any harm by listening to the occasional jam from my favorite woman loving guy with a guitar.  But I do think that sometimes people reach a point where they realize that there is no need for legalism, so they turn the complete opposite direction.  Instead of being cautious of everything they put in their mind, hearts, and bodies, they feel as long as they love God, they are good.  The thing is, no matter what age or maturity, we still need to protect our hearts and minds, and should really teach our students to do the same.

I think that every person should have a life-goal.  Not something obtainable like owning a home or making partner in a firm (although those things are good), but something to strive for.  I suppose goal is not the word, goals have an end result.  Maybe vision statement is a better term, I just don’t really like that wording, but oh well, it is probably the best fitting.  So people should have a “vision statement,” a phrase/idea/thought that sums up what they want to be.  Imagine a business without a vision statement…could it ever succeed?  Even worse: a ministry without a vision.  As someone who tracks better in the realm of ministry than business, this seems to translate better to me.  A ministry without a vision flounders; it’s staff has no idea what to work towards, its leaders don’t know what direction to turn next, and it’s people are confused, disconnected, and often times lost.  If you don’t know what you want to be, you will be nothing. 

I have been nothing.  I have been mundane, without purpose, and just going through the paces.  It sucks!  If you ever want to feel useless, pointless, and underwhelmed in life, avoid having a vision statement.  But if you want to live a life of fulfillment, one focused with a direction and blessible by God, figure out what God wants you to be and run straight to it!  God has purpose for all of us.  The obvious answer: to follow the Great Commission, which is true.  But more than that, I believe God has something huge for each individual.  I want to reach all that God has in store for me, and while I have no idea what that is, I know it is more than mediocre.  So to achieve it, reach it, and see it, I have to live a life that is more than mediocre.  That is my vision/life-goal, to be more than mediocre.  In everything I do: work, play, relationships, ministry, creativity, school, cooking, makeup, anything and everything I do, I want to be more than mediocre.

Mediocrity is lame.  I don’t really know how else to say it.  Mediocrity is defined by being “of only ordinary or moderate quality; neither good nor bad; barely adequate.”  The thought of that grosses me out.  It is settling, boring, average, luke-warm.  God spits it out!  Who would ever want to be barely adequate?  I want everything I do to be defined as good, really good.  I think I’d even take bad over mediocre, I can point out the faults in bad, and then fix them.  But mediocre, scraping by, indifference, is not a life that honors God. 

Let’s talk about worship for a second.  Worship is a life style that honors God; life-style is everything that you do.  Worship used to often be found in the form of sacrifice.  Look back to Genesis when Cain and Abel are bringing their sacrifices to the alter.  One brings the first-born sheep, a pure and great sacrifice that God calls for and brings Him honor.  The other chooses to bring fruit salad.  Not the best sacrifice, it was mediocre.  The passage goes on to say that God showed favor on Abel for bringing the sheep.  Why would you not want favor from God?!  You would have to be nuts to settle for mediocrity in your sacrifice to the Living King and not welcome His favor.  Currently we don’t bring physical sacrifices to an alter, but we still worship, we worship with our lives and everything we do.  I don’t want my worship to God, my life and all that I do to be equivalent to fruit salad.  I want to give God my best, and since all that I do is for Him, I want all that I do to be more than mediocre. 

So what does that mean?  That means I try for all that I do to be my best, and if my best is mediocre, pushing past that and making it more than mediocre.  From the silly things like my makeup, to the major things, like my serving and ministry, I choose to strive to be more than mediocre.  I am not always successful, and I don’t think that I will ever fully achieve it, but I have a vision, and I am running full force to live a life…more than mediocre.