Have you ever had one of those moments where you hear yourself say something, and you are just like….”Why am I saying this?  Stop….No, seriously, stop talking….what are you doing?!”  Yes, people do say some dumb things, but sometimes, I’m people.  Pardon the grammar, but the point is, I am just as much of an idiot sometimes as everyone else that I sarcastically joke about behind closed doors.  (see, that’s one of those things I shouldn’t have said, it’s just mean, but its honest, so I’ll let it slide.)

I have hit a point in my life that I never thought would happen, its a time where I don’t have all (or any) of the answers.  Don’t get me wrong, I don’t always think I have all the answers to life, but for the most part, I have learned enough from the brilliant people around me that I know how to handle most situations.  And if I don’t, I tend to have enough common sense to figure it out.  All of a sudden, however, I find myself in this place where I am clueless.  And I’m kind of scared to ask for the right answers.  I don’t know who to ask.  I turn to God, I’ve been turning to God a lot lately, which maybe not turning to Him enough in the first place was my problem.  But we all know how God operates, sometimes the answers don’t come right away.  I am a big believer that He speaks through people, I have just found myself in a place where I don’t know who the right person is to listen to, almost to a point where I don’t know who to even talk to.  So this puts me in my predicament, a moment where something comes up, and my reaction is one that leaves me screaming at myself “What are you saying?!”  This feeling is weird, and I don’t like it.  It leaves me knowing one thing though, God is stretching me.  I do believe that with all of my heart.  A lot of big things are happening in my world, so these new situations that leave me mumbling through ignorance is due to the fact that I have brand new experiences with brand new responsibilities and brand new priorities, and have no knowledge to fall back on.  I can feel the stretch now.  It’s kind of like when you don’t stretch for a really long time and then you get back into it and it feels like a body builder has taken your muscle, chewed on it, and then set it on fire (graphic enough for ya?!).  When God chooses to stretch you, you should know two things: it’s going to hurt, and it’s for a reason.  When I am left feeling like a fourth grader because the things that I am saying are so clearly not thought out, it is not because I am dumb, it is because I am experiencing something new and just don’t know any better. 

I say dumb things, I am taking this as a sign that I am being put through the ringer, only to come out praising God for where He has brought me.  I believe God has some major things in store for me and my future, I just hope I bite my tongue long enough to not ruin it all.