Have you ever wondered if you were going to have an ugly baby?!  I know that is a strange question, but I’ve wondered that many times.  I know 2 things; all newborns are ugly, and all babies are beautiful in their parents’ eyes.  But seriously, what if you had a kid that was legit busted?!  If your kid had a unibrow, how soon is too soon to wax it?!  If you know me well, you know that kids aren’t my thing, and I have no fear calling kids ugly (sorry), but I have often times wondered, if your kid is ugly, will anyone tell you?  There are certain things in life that no one tells you about.  Maybe it’s that your kid is ugly, or that, despite your opinion, you’re a horrible singer (please don’t tell me if this is true about me), or that the dream that you want has it’s downfalls.  Certain things people shouldn’t tell you.  You may not believe them, or they may sway you from pursuing your dreams. 

My dream, and calling, is to do Student Ministry full time.  By the grace of God, I’ve been given the opportunity to do just that, and I love every second of it.  There are a couple of truths about ministry that I was warned of.  It’s tiresome.  It won’t make you rich.  It is not for the faint of heart.  Kids will break your heart.  You will get pranked.  Parents will drive you nuts (not all of them, but there is that one…).  And so on and so on.  All of these things, I knew, understood, and was prepared for.  There is one truth that no one ever told me, and even if they did, I don’t think I would get it.  And no one ever talks about it, so I thought it was just me.  After speaking to some friends in ministry, I realized I was not alone in thinking that ministry can be lonely.  Don’t get me wrong, ministry is a blast and I would not trade it for the world, but there is a reality that it can be lonely.  My line of work is so relational, that by the time it comes to my personal relationships, I don’t have a ton of energy to put into them.  Between the wacky hours, unconventional motivation, and sheer exhaustion (emotional and physical), it is very easy to feel alone in the world.  Unless you are in the trenches, you don’t know what ministry is like, so your friends often don’t understand you.  They don’t understand why your time is so limited or why, after a week at camp, you are so tired….I mean, it’s camp, it’s like a vacation, right?!  I think Jesus had to be really lonely.  The perfect man was surrounded by darkness and sin His whole life, and no one could ever figure anything out just right.  In Luke, it even talks about how He would retreat to lonely places and pray.  No one understood Him.  Now, in no way am I comparing myself to Jesus, but I do find comfort in knowing He went through the same thing.

When it comes to being lonely in ministry, I’ve found a couple things to help navigate it all.

• Know you aren’t alone in your loneliness.  This may sound weird, but know that as someone in ministry, it is normal for you to have those moments of feeling completely misunderstood.  It’s ok. 
• Find comfort in God.  Now that the cliche Christian answer quota has been met, let’s talk about it.  In all reality, sometimes the only thing we can do is cry out to God.  In ministry, sometimes your frustrations or discouragements can’t be shared with anyone, for the sake of someone’s confidentiality or the sake of not skewing someone’s opinion of God or the church.  God sometimes is the only one you can talk to.  And in reality, God is the only thing that can bring you true comfort to begin with.  So go to the beach, get some conch fritters at the beach-side grill, take a seat on the sand, and get alone with God.  It has been my best fix to loneliness.
• Cherish the few good friends you do have.  I have lost a lot of friends over the years.  I didn’t spend enough time with them, I wasn’t always there for them, I didn’t meet their standards for friendship.  It sounds so high school (and it is), but those draining friends who you can never make happy enough will always be that way.  But that close crew, those who whether you see them once a day, once a week, or once every three months, it doesn’t matter, those are the good ones.  I find refuge and acceptance in that crew who, with them, nothing will ever change.  They know I’m busy, and that’s ok.  They know I don’t always want to have deep intellectual conversations, and that’s ok too.  God takes care of His people, and I have been taken care of.  God has provided me with a small handful of great friends who will love me no matter what, and that is wonderful.  I don’t need a million friends, I don’t have time for a million friends, so I love the ones I have.

At the end of the day, I have the ear of the Creator of everything, and the presence of His Spirit.  I also have the greatest job in the world, with the greatest team that I have the pleasure of doing ministry with.  There are times that it feels overwhelmingly lonely.  There are also days that the friends, family, and fiance that I have been blessed with is more than enough.